


The Starlight

by hanjihyun



Series: Trip to Neverland [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt Michelle Jones, Hurt Peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, LETS CRY ALTOGETHER, LETS CRY MORE, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Not A Fix-It, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Pain, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-08-10 14:30:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20137000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanjihyun/pseuds/hanjihyun
Summary: The aftermath of Peter Parker's death.How Michelle Jones cope up with the loss of her best friend, her first love.--The sequel to "Lost boy's lullaby"It is advisable to read the first book before reading this.





	1. Remember then forget

Michelle Jones had always been a loner. A teenager who never really liked attention--she didn't like people staring at her, she didn't like people talking about her. But now, even with her head down, she knew that people were sparing her glances of pity and sadness. Even with her head down, she knew that her school mates probably already know the news that Michelle Jones, the loner, had just lost one of the few friends that she keeps. And even though she wanted to snap at them and tell everyone to mind their own _damn _business, she couldn't--the venom and fierceness in her voice _vanished _the moment she learned that Peter died.

She was just irritated because why can't these people just mind their own _fucking_ business? She had been stoic about everything--the snap, the five years lost, Peter's death. She tried everyday not to let these people see that she is, indeed, _hurting_. She tried for months to show all her school mates that she's doing better, that she's moving on. So she doesn't understand why they are still hovering in her life like they understand her pain. Why do they look at her with pity and sadness in their eyes? Don't they know that their emotions will not--in any way--help Michelle? They were just adding salt to the wound because every time she sees someone with that same look in their eyes, she couldn't help but to feel like she is alone. Because these people's eyes are reminding her that she is someone to be pitied, someone to feel bad upon.

For months she endured such glances, such gazes and through the days, she learned how not to give a fuck--to not fucking care. She started not caring about anything at all--just focusing on the things that mattered to her like her family, decathlon and her friends. That was what kept her sane after Peter's untimely departure. She drowned herself in the things that she still had left and trying hard to put the things that she lost on the side. And for the past months it did help her--she thinks of the snap less, the five years lost, the regret, the pain... she thinks of Peter _less_.

For one, she thought that she was doing a very good job in coping. She thought that when she ignore the things that happened and just live inside her safe bubble, she will survive. But the smart girl didn't realize that bubbles pop eventually.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" a small voice exclaimed, "I didn't see you there!"

Michelle didn't see that one coming--she was lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realized that someone bumped onto her, making her drop her books, "It's fine," she mumbled, not really having the energy to snap at the kid for bumping into her. Sure, she was pissed but she knew that getting angry will just tire her out.

"I should've been more careful," the kid muttered.

The kid was remorseful, she gave him that. But that was not the reason why the girl suddenly stopped in her tracks--her hand stopping midair to gather the books that was sprawled on the ground. Because that _voice_... that voice was awfully a lot like someone she knew.

Someone who was gone.

Someone who's never coming back.

But can you blame her for _hoping_, even for just a little bit?

_Peter--no not Peter. He _can't _be... Peter._

Michelle looked up, a small hope blossoming in her chest. Expecting--no, wanting to see Peter in front of her. She badly wanted to see Peter appear in front of her miraculously--you know, like casually bumping on to her just to mess with her and then, beam at her with the most beautiful smile in the world. She was hoping, expecting, wanting for Peter to be in front of her but to her dismay, she was greeted by a gawky kid--large, black glasses, freckles on his face, a mop of _curly_, ginger locks and his _eyes_...

Those eyes... brown, doe-like eyes.

Michelle gasped as she stopped breathing altogether as she eyes the kid in front of her, all rational thinking going down the drain as soon as she took a really close look at the kid. And somehow, the girl felt like she was being played--being toyed around, tortured. Because hearing a voice similar to Peter's is painful enough but being in front of a boy who looked almost exactly like Peter is a whole different story.

"It's... it's okay," Michelle managed to say, looking _lost _in front of the kid because probably, she _is_.

Maybe she's lost in a whole new universe where Peter Parker is a ginger, where Peter is alive. But she knew that it was impossible and she knew that fate was just really playing with her--with her mind, her heart.

The kid managed to gather all the books that Michelle seemed to forget about, handing the three books back to the astounded girl. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking into Michelle's eyes.

_"Are you okay?" Peter asked._

The girl almost cried right in the spot because _damn_, this was just too painful. She was having flashbacks right before her eyes and it was breaking her. Michelle knew that she was only seeing things because this couldn't possibly happening, _right_? Peter can't be in front of her, talking, because Peter Parker is _long _gone--that was months ago already.

_Peter... He's Pe-- _not _Peter. _Michelle was lost in her internal turmoil as she convinces herself that the person in front of her was in fact _not _Peter._ Peter is not a ginger, Jones. Get it all together._

The girl was completely shocked, lost in the kid's eyes because it was _awfully _lot like Peter's... brown, big, doe like eyes--_and damn, I miss you so much Peter. I miss you, dork,_ "I'm fine, no--no need to worry, yeah," Michelle stuttered as she took all her belongings back. Turning her heels away as soon as she took her books back, sprinting towards the nearest comfort room because if she didn't leave, she might just lose herself in front of the boy. Because honestly, Michelle just wanted to hug the boy, cup his cheeks and just call him Peter. But she knew she couldn't--she couldn't do all that because the boy who bumped on her _is not Peter._

A sob tore through the girl's chest as tears started falling down her eyes. The familiar pain that she was accustomed to for the past few months started making its presence known back in her heart--the pain of losing someone so close to you, the pain of knowing that he will never come back, the pain of knowing that you're absolutely _alone_.

Michelle scrambled to the nearest stall as soon as she arrived in the comfort room, slamming the door so loud, it hurt her ears. And when she knew that she was all alone in the big lavatory, she _broke _down. All the times she thought she moved on, all the times she avoided everything about Peter, all the times she refused to acknowledge what happened to her best friend came back to haunt her. The pain was worse, more painful, more agonizing.

Tears started streaming down her face, sobs tearing down her throat as she clutched her chest, feeling the impending panic attack that was about to happen--the feeling of air getting snatched away from her lungs, the feeling of the ceiling encasing you in like it was going to eat you, the feeling of everything crashing down on you, pinning you. The feeling of dying.

_I can't... I can't breathe._

Michelle was panicking--her heart beating so loud against her ears like some loud, rock music. And she was certain that all the air was being sucked out of her because that's what it felt like. Someone was taking all the air from her lungs, something was falling upon her, crushing her. And right there and then, she knew that she was _dying_.

She had a panic attack before, way back before she was snapped and then one time after returning back home from Peter's funeral. And all those times she had someone with her--for many times it was Peter and for once, Ned.

But right now, _no one_ was with her. Peter's not here anymore to bust inside a girl's lavatory just to help MJ through the attack. Peter's not here anymore to call because there's no hope of him answering his phone and talk to her with the boy's calming voice. Ned's not here either to help her in the stead of Peter.

No one was with her.

Not Ned.

Not Betty.

And certainly, not Peter.

She was alone, gasping for air.

"I'm dying," Michelle managed to rasp out, her hands clutching her throat to help, but it didn't.

_"You're not dying," _someone muttered, a voice at the back of her head--a voice that calms her every time this happens. It was that same voice who pulled her out of the monsters inside her head--the same voice who always makes sure that the girl wouldn't be lost in her massive blob of thoughts.

The same voice who always walked her through a panic attack--the owner of the voice who always breathed with her.

_\--_

_"You're not dying," Peter muttered, his hand cupping Michelle's face as the boy started exaggerating his own breathing, "Copy me MJ," Peter whispered as he breathed _ _in and then breathing out, "In, out. Come on, copy me."_

_Michelle shook her head, tears dripping down her cheeks as the panic clouded her mind, "I-I can't," the girl rasped out, "I'm-I'm dying,"_

_It was her first time having this episode--all thanks to a certain group of vain girls who managed to claw out an old monster in Michelle's head and now, she's dying--she's sure of it. Because how can you explain this? She literally can't breathe and all her surroundings was just one massive swirl in front of her._

_"No, you're _not_," Peter muttered, his voice stern and full of certainty, "You're just having a panic attack is all," the boy explained as he took MJ's h__ands into his, placing it on top of his chest, "Can you feel my _breathing_?" Peter asked and all MJ could do was nod--focusing so hard not to pass out from the lack of air. The girl could feel the steady rise and fall of Peter's chest and somehow, it _grounded _her. "Okay, good. Now, copy my breathing. Breathe in like you're smelling the _flowers_," Peter muttered as he took a breath in for an example and then breathing out as he locked his eyes towards MJ, "And then letting it out like blowing the _candles_ on your birthday."_

_MJ tries to copy Peter--breathing in and then breathing out, slowly. "In with the flowers, out with the candles. You're doing great," Peter praised, smiling, his voice calm, "Just continue doing that. Don't worry, I _got_ you." the boy continued, whispering quietly as he continue holding the girl in his arms._

_The boy didn't mind their position a bit. Peter was just so focused on getting MJ back to her normal breathing and making sure that the girl wouldn't pass out from lack of oxygen. But MJ minded everything that was happening around her--she took note of their hands touching each other. _ _Peter was holding MJ's shoulder, his other hand cupping the girl's face. MJ on the other hand was holding Peter's hand that was cupping her cheeks and her other hand resting above the boy's chest. And for sure, they looked pretty dumb--a calm boy and a girl freaking out sitting inside the girl's lavatory. It was truly a dumb scene and if ever someone tumbles inside, MJ was sure that this was going to be the talk of the whole school for a month, maybe a year._

_"You don't need to think about anything." Peter mutters, noticing how Michelle was getting lost in her own mind yet again, "Just focus on your breathing. In with the flowers, then out with the candles." the boy continued giving instructions, his voice gentle and soft, completely calming MJ's erratic breathing, "Whatever the trigger was, don't think about it." Peter said, "You don't have to be _scared_, I got you. You're here with me and we're going to _breathe together._" the boy smiles, trying hard to ground the girl in front of her, "I'll walk you through this, okay?" Peter asks._

_MJ just nods as she works on her breathing, completely listening to everything that Peter was saying. She breathed in and then out, slowly but surely. _You're here, with Peter. You're safe. _MJ told herself, repeating it like some sort of mantra, a lifeline that she was holding on to. And thankfully, it did work after repeating it in her head a couple hundred of times._

_She felt safe. She felt grounded and she could breathe _again_._

_Minutes have already passed and somehow, MJ was able to get back all the air that was missing in her lungs and thank goodness that she was able to breathe again._

_"You okay now?" Peter managed to ask when he realized that the girl was breathing better._

_MJ just nods, tapping Peter's hand away from her face and quickly retracting her hand from the boy's chest like it burned her, "I'm good," MJ whispers, looking away in embarrassment, "I'm better."_

_"Great," Peter muttered, smiling, "Do you think you can stand?" the boy asked and MJ just nods, not trusting her voice. "Okay, come on, let me take you somewhere that's not the girl's lavatory." Peter managed to chuckle, trying his hard to lighten the situation._

_Peter's little joke should've enlighten the girl, make her know that everything was just fine. But it did the opposite for Michelle--s__he was beyond embarrassed because she just had a freaking panic attack in front of a boy--in front of Peter, no less! _How can I show my face to Peter after all that happened?! Aargh, Michelle Jones!

_"Okay." MJ muttered quietly as she took all her things and started walking first, leaving Peter to tail from behind._

\--

"Okay," Michelle managed to blurt out, exhaling shakily as she shook her head--a vain attempt to get herself snap out of her thoughts. _You're not dying Michelle. _MJ told herself, trying hard to think rationally as she roughly wiped the tears away from her face and tried sucking in air and then letting it out. It wasn't her best attempt but she was going somewhere because at the very least, she wasn't choking in her own breath.

_You need to fucking get your shit together, Jones._ _You're embarrassing yourself in front of Peter. _MJ told herself. _Peter already thought you how to breathe, you got to apply what you've learned!_

The girl continued remembering all the times that Peter walked her through the panic attacks. Remembered every words, remembered every instructions, remembered every breath.

_"You don't have to be _scared_, I got you. You're here with me and we're going to _breathe together._" _It was supposed to be a motivation--she wanted to remember Peter's words to help her through this shit. She wanted to remember Peter's assurances that everything's going to be okay _but _the words that played at the back of her head was probably not the most suitable one for this particular situation. Because instead of assuring herself, it only did the opposite--reminding her the fact that Peter who once breathed with her will never do the same again--ever. _How can I not be scared, Parker? How can I breathe when we're _not breathing together_ anymore?_

All the breathing exercises that she was building up for the past few seconds was completely snatched away from her as she sobs yet again. The painful reality crashing on to her that the one person whom she relied on is not here anymore. _Breathe with me Peter... I can't do this alone. _She wanted Peter to be with her right now--hold her hand, whisper comforting words into her ears and just, _breathe _with her. She just wanted to have someone to help her through this because _fuck_, she can't do this alone.

_"In with the flowers, out with the candles." _the same voice told her, soft and gentle, telling MJ what she needed to do but it was just so hard to do the same. Michelle snivels, a cry racking her chest as she clutched it, "Peter," she managed to rasp out as she calls for the best friend that she lost, her best friend who will never come back... Peter who will not come to _rescue _heranymore.

And it pained her to accept the reality, feeling a great despair, not knowing what to do and what to even think about because even the memories with him was _attacking _her. The memories that was supposed to ground her, the memories that was supposed to calm her, the memories that kept her safe was the same ones _striking _her, assaulting her and it was just so, so _tiring... _to fight. To fight the pain, to fight the panic, to fight the memories, to _fight_ Peter.

It was so hard.

And all the girl could do was cry, weep painfully as she tried to forget her best friend--tried to get Peter out of her mind just for a little bit... just until she manages to get her bearings back but she just failed, miserably.

She remembered every smile, every laugh, every jokes, every hug and it just burns her heart to the core, pain crippling her down.

And what she desired right now was comfort. The desire to hear the same laugh, to see the same smile, to feel the same hug.

She wanted Peter.

She wanted _her_ Peter.

_I can't do this. I can't fucking do this Peter._

It was a surrender. A white flag that the girl just wanted to raise.

Michelle just wanted to tap out and _quit_. She just wanted to give up and just pass out--let the other people see her completely out in the cold.

She was so ready.

Ready to give up on this shit.

To give up, to let go.

Until Peter didn't give her any choice...

but to fight.

_"Don't worry, I _got_ you." _It was another assurance. The same calm and gentle voice who manages to lull her mind, the same calm voice who helped her through this shit many times over. And at that moment, Michelle swore she can see Peter in front of her--the same all-smiling Peter, the bright and lively Peter... _just _Peter, Michelle Jones' best friend.

"_Breathe in like you're smelling the _flowers_," __Peter muttered as he took a breath in for an example and then breathing out as he locked his eyes towards MJ, "And then letting it out like blowing the _candles_ on your birthday."_

The girl almost smiles, staring at the boy in front of her--all calm, all gentle, alive. And Michelle couldn't help but to nod, taking in Peter's instructions in her head. "Flowers," Michelle rasps as she breathe in, "Candles," the girl continued as she breathe out. She then manages to smile as she continue looking at the smiling boy in front of her, a small sense of safety blanketing her.

_"You're doing great," _the same voice praised, a small smile beaming at her.

Michelle tried hard to suck in air like she was smelling the flowers and then letting it out like she would when blowing a candle. She copied Peter's breathing, noted every inhale and exhale of the boy in front of her. She remembered all the times Peter used to breathe with her, chanting the words that Peter used to tell her--to help her.

Flowers.

Candles.

Roses.

Birthdays.

Flowers.

Candles.

Roses.

Birthdays.

She breathed that way for a solid two minutes, repeating the words at the back of her head like some sort of meditation until she finally got her bearings back, her lungs no longer protesting from the lack of air.

_"I _got_ you." _Peter once told her and somehow, it became one of MJ's lifeline at the moment. Remembering that Peter got her--holding her shoulders with the boy's gentle hand, his other cupping MJ's cheeks and right there and then, she felt a sense of security around her, the feeling of safety, the _feeling_ of Peter.

Michelle was of sound mind and knew that it was just physically impossible to see Peter in front of her, much less feel the soft and clumsy hands of her best friend but she also knew that it wasn't her imagination--it was a fragment of her _memory_\--a memory where Peter Parker was very much alive. A memory where Peter was _breathing._ A memory where Peter was teaching her to breathe properly, and now, it was just so _ironic_ to think about it.

Michelle manages to smile as Peter started to fade away, "I know you do dork," Michelle whispers as she ducked her head down, burying her face on top of her knees, "You always got me."

The girl continued crying but now, more quietly. She stayed in there for who knows how long, just trying hard to even out her breathing, afraid that she might go down the spiral again.

"MJ?"

\--

_"MJ?" someone called and by the voice, she already know who owns it. "MJ!" the boy shouted, calling her again as she literally jogged in order to get away from him._

_"Hey, where the hell are you going?" Peter asked as soon as the boy held MJ's arms, stopping the girl from jogging and from getting away._

_MJ turned towards the boy and smiled awkwardly, forcing it from her lips, "H-hey, Peter!" MJ exclaimed, her voice jumping up to a higher octave, "Didn't see you there," she managed to let out, looking everywhere but Peter's _eyes_._

_"Ned has been looking for you. Where have you been these past few days?" Peter asked._

Making sure that I don't bump into you. _MJ muttered in her head, _I was avoiding you.

_MJ looked like a deer in front of a bright light as she tried to come up with a good lie, "Uhm, I... Uhh... I was... I was at the library?" the girl answered back but by the way she just said it, it felt like a question more like an answer._

_Peter looked at her skeptically, "Yeah, sure," the boy muttered, his eyes trained on MJ's face, scrutinizing her, "You know, you can actually make up a better excuse than that." Peter said, smiling mischievously, "Are you avoiding me, MJ?"_

_MJ's eyes almost bulged out in surprise, "What?! No!" MJ exclaimed defensively, "I'm not avoiding you! Why would I even do that?" the girl muttered as she looked down, her hands fidgeting._

_"Uh huh," Peter hums, smiling as he crosses his arms on top of his chest, "You know, if this is about the panic attack, forget about it." the kid muttered, "It's completely normal MJ, I mean, I'm pretty sure those awful girls said something that triggered it. It wasn't your _fault_,"_

_"No, that wasn't it, I swear!" MJ exclaimed, completely defensive and all Peter did was wear his smug smile as he nods, "Yeah, sure," Peter muttered, his voice lacing with every bit of sarcasm._

_And the girl knew she was busted and Peter was just making fun of her as of the moment so she just _ _sighs, knowing that lying was not getting her anywhere, "Fine," the girl muttered, finally looking back at Peter's brown eyes, "Yeah, I was avoiding you." she answered back, "It was embarrassing to actually have that episode in front of you, okay?! I was a total freak."_

_Peter's brows suddenly clashed, completely disagreeing to what the girl just said, "No, don't think like that," Peter said, unfolding his arms as he placed it on top of MJ's shoulders, "Trust me, it was better that I was the one who helped you through it. I mean, when I had a panic attack in front of Ned, I was pretty relieved that it was him because he's my friend." Peter smiled, "So you probably should be relieved that it was me who helped you because _I'm your friend._" the kid continued as he shrugged, removing his hands from MJ's, "Not unless you don't think of me as one. And may I just add, having a panic attack doesn't make you a freak, okay?"_

_MJ stared at the boy in front of her--like really stared at him as she finally sighs, looking down, "Yeah, I guess... I guess that wasn't really that bad. Not the panic attack... I mean, _you_." MJ blabbered, her words not making any sense, "What I mean is, uhm, it was better that you're the one who found me..."_

_Peter just smiles as he nods, "Right?" he asked, smiling, "You know, if you ever have one again, don't hesitate to call me. Call me and I can help you _breathe_ through it." Peter offered._

_MJ finally smiles, all the embarrassment melting away from her head as she realized that there was nothing to be really embarrassed about. It's Peter they're talking about--the boy is the most _understanding_ person she ever met._

_MJ just smiles as she nods, "How do you even know how to get through a panic attack?" the girl asked out of curiosity._

_"As I've said, I had my fair share of panic attacks and I'm just lucky to have several people to help me through it. And now, I can finally help someone else,"_

_"Thanks," MJ blurted out, "I wasn't able to thank you last time and even though_ _ it's already a bit late, I hope you know that I mean it."_

_Peter chuckles, "Of course, no problem." the boy muttered, "So are we good now? Not going to avoid me anymore?"_

_"I'm not avoiding you again," MJ smiles._

_"Come on then!" Peter exclaimed, "Ned's waiting for us."_

\--

"Ned's waiting for us, M," Betty. That was Betty's voice, "M? Are you here?" Betty asked again.

MJ tried her best to get rid of the tear tracks from her cheeks as she took another breath. She quickly fixed herself, getting rid of the snot in her nose, fixing her messy hair and straightening out her clothes. She wasn't planning on letting Betty see of how wrecked she is right now. That girl has already seen too much of the broken MJ, that was more than enough now, "I'm--I'm here," she muttered as she took her books back into her hands, opening the bathroom door.

"Oh hey M!" Betty exclaimed, smiling, "Ned and I have been waiting for you. Come on, we're running late!" the girl muttered.

"This will be my very first time being late at the fast food, Bet," MJ muttered, completely moving all the panic aside and trying hard to act normally, "You, on the other hand is a different story. I mean, how many times have you been late? I'm pretty sure your salary's almost a half now." MJ wasn't in the mood to joke around but if she didn't bite back at Betty's words, the girl would probably notice what's wrong.

"Hey, you know that I have school journalism after school!" Betty exclaimed as they left the girl's lavatory and on their way towards the gate to meet Ned.

"And I have decathlon," MJ answered back, rebutting her friend's argument.

Betty just sighed in frustration, "Fine, I get it. I'm an irresponsible worker." Betty muttered, rolling her eyes heavenwards.

MJ faintly smiles, feeling the normalcy creeping back to her system, grounding her and for that, she was thankful. It has been a month now since they decided to work at Chick-fil-A--her and Betty--and well, managing to have a quiet good friendship with each other. MJ decided to let Betty into her life and accepted the friendship that the girl was offering. And even though it was so hard to trust at first and let someone enter in her life again, Ned was there to guide her through it. To tell her that it was fine to have someone to have her back now that Peter's not with them anymore. And now, MJ is just so thankful to have Ned and Betty by her side, at least she didn't have to face this all bullshits alone.

"MJ," Ned called as soon as the boy saw the two girls walking towards him.

"Ned," MJ called back.

"Hey, I think you should probably take an absence at the fast food right now." Ned muttered, making MJ and Betty's brows clash.

"Why?" MJ asked.

Ned looked away as his eyes trained towards a familiar car--the car that always fetch Peter after school. The same car that they never saw again after everything that happened, "Mr. Stark wants to talk to you."

Michelle Jones was one of the many people who was dusted--fading into ashes and disappearing in the winds. It wasn't too much of a deal for Michelle at first because she didn't feel anything less different--she just felt odd. For her, it felt like she just blinked and the moment she opened her eyes again, everything was just different but none of that spooked the girl.

But when she found out that five years had passed, she almost lost it. She started searching for her family who--thank goodness--still lived in their old house. Nothing much changed--not their address, not their house, not their neighborhood... and the only thing that changed was that, her mom and dad had aged. It was confusing to say the least, but at the same time, painful to actually know that you missed five years of your parents' lives.

She was lost for a couple of days, navigating through uncharted waters of a new world. She mostly stayed home, then sometimes going to the mall to buy some books that could take her mind of off things. She never really paid mind to things outside her family because for the moment, she feels like the most important thing is her family.

For a few days, she became better by denying things that happened for the past few years, by distracting herself from the things that truly mattered, and by shutting herself from the world so that she wouldn't have to deal with all the changes in it.

But all of those changed when she received a phone call one night.

_"MJ..." It was Ned, a sobbing Ned who seemed to have a difficulty in breathing with how much he was crying._

Michelle never really talked to Ned or even Peter when she got back from being dusted. She actually turned off her phone and stayed away from social media just so she wouldn't be able to feel how much the world had changed. But now to be able to hear Ned's crying voice made her feel a certain regret--regret that she didn't reach out to her friends to make sure they're doing okay.

_"N-ned?" Michelle answered back, unsure._

_"MJ," Ned muttered, his breath hitching, "It's... it's Peter."_

_"Wh-what about him?" Michelle managed to ask, her voice a mere whisper._

_Ned sobs yet again, composing himself, "He's gone MJ. Peter's... Peter... Peter died."_

Michelle couldn't remember what happened next after that. All she knew was that the next few days after the news was just a jumbled mess and days of crying. The only time she regained herself back was when she attended Peter's funeral in one of Tony Stark's house.

That day was a complete mess not only for MJ but for everyone else. She watched people cry, she watched people mourn, she watched people feel the hurt of losing such wonderful soul. But oddly enough, she didn't cry the whole funeral--she just watched. Watched as May Parker gave her words of sentiment, watched as Tony Stark finally made appearance after hours of waiting, watched as May Parker and Tony Stark laid down the wreath on top of the lake, watched as Ned and Mrs. Leeds cry.

She felt numb the whole day, completely lost in her surroundings as she tried to make sense of what was happening. She was hurt, in pain, mourning silently as they send their best friend off to eternity. It was painful, yes, but what was more painful was that they never get to see Peter again.

She wanted to see Peter again--even the lifeless Peter would do her good. Because she just wanted to remember--remember the beautiful eyes that Peter owned, the beautiful nose she loved to bop whenever she's messing around with the boy and the pretty lips that she certainly memorized just by staring at it for a couple of minutes whenever Peter was too busy to pay attention to her.

She wanted to see those again--memorize it all just one more time because she feels like she will forget everything. She's afraid that she might forget how Peter squints his eyes whenever he's suspicious, afraid to forget how Peter crinkles his nose whenever he's nervous, afraid that she might forget how Peter curves his lips into a smile whenever Peter sees her. She's afraid that she might _forget _Peter.

But to her dismay, she didn't see Peter in the boy's funeral. There was no body to cry on, no ashes to throw away, no casket to even know that Peter was there with them. The only thing that signified Peter's death was the wreath that was floated in the lake--just a simple wreath with a Spider-man emblem in the middle of it.

She wanted to see Peter badly so she decided to take matters in her own hands and asked May Parker about it. _"Uhm, Mrs. Parker... where... where's Peter?" she managed to ask when the woman wasn't too busy anymore, just standing by the lake as she stares at the beautiful scenery before them._

_"He's still at SHIELD," May answers back, "We decided not to bring him anywhere anymore. We left him there but soon, we'll cremate him."_

_Michelle nods, understanding, "Can I... can I see him? Just... just for one last time?" she asked, her heart beating fast... her mind expectant._

_May sighs as she placed her gentle hands on top of the girl, "I'm sorry MJ," the woman whispers, "Tony doesn't want anybody to see Peter in that state. And I agree with him,"_

The logical part of her wanted to understand May Parker but her heart was so stubborn as she felt a familiar anger brewing inside her chest. She just wanted to see her best friend one last time but Tony Stark was against it, even May Parker agreed. But it was _unfair_\--they got to see Peter so why couldn't she?

After the funeral, Ned took her home but not before blowing on a full panic attack on their way back to her house. She was crying--all the pain and grief eating her, now that no one was watching but just Ned. It was the first time that she breathed through a panic attack without Peter and it scared her. It scared her to the core that she even mistook Ned as Peter.

The whole ordeal was just horrible for Michelle. Regret punched her in the chest, panic swirled in her mind like some super typhoon and anger clouded her whole body. She just wanted to see her best friend one last time and they couldn't give her that chance.

One second was all she wanted. Just another moment.

But they didn't give in.

They were _unfair_.

_Selfish_.

That's what they are.

"What are we doing here?" MJ asked while they were riding the lift in the tower.

Mr. Stark took the girl from school and decided to bring her to the old Avengers Tower in New York. She didn't understand but just decided to just go with the billionaire--still hoping, at the bottom of her chest to see Peter one last time even if it has already been months since the boy died.

There's still this sick thought in her mind, wanting to see Peter even though it was too physically impossible to happen.

"I'm sorry," the billionaire started, avoiding the girl's eyes at all cost. He was calm, his hand at his back, his eyes looking straight ahead, "I'm sorry that we were selfish," the man continued, making Michelle look down in embarrassment, "Ned told me how hurt you were when May denied your request."

Michelle's eyes were starting to sting, and she very much knows that she was going to cry, "You all were." the girl whispered, "You were all so selfish."

The man then nods, completely unfazed by the girl's outburst--understanding everything, sympathizing, "We were," Tony muttered, nodding, "May... me, and well, Peter."

Michelle quickly turned to the genius, getting her attention at the mention of Peter's name, "Peter?" the girl asked, confused.

"Peter left a will." Tony started, "He left a will years ago and he activated it when he realized that he will die." the man spoke calmly, his voice firm and stable, "And one thing he made clear in his will was that... he didn't want to be remembered by his death." Tony breathed as he turned towards the girl, now meeting her eyes, "Peter wouldn't want you to remember his face like that, Michelle. Peter wouldn't want you to remember the closed eyes that will never open, the nose that will never draw a breath and his lips that will never form a smile."

The words stung, sending a painful blow on the girl's chest and Michelle couldn't help but to whimper.

"He was clear about it--it was the last thing in his will... said a long speech... talking about how to remember him." Tony muttered as the elevator finally dings, "He doesn't want you to remember the dead Peter so I made the decision for you not to see him--not even Ned."

Michelle felt ashamed, guilt eating her chest as they continued walking, "Then why?" the girl asks, "Why am I here?"

"Do you think Peter will not leave anything for you?" Tony asks, a smile finally creeping in the man's face, "He left a little something for you and I did everything to find it and uhm, well, I did."

Mr. Stark finally stopped in front of a door, a blue one, "Is this...?" Michelle asks, unsure.

"It's Peter's room," Tony smiles as he opens the door, revealing a really messy but beautiful room.

The wall was painted white and an accent wall painted blue. Books were messily stacked on the bookshelves--books about science, math, some fictions, popfictions, comics, all sorts of stuff. There were also numerous books scattered all around the floor, on top of the bed, on top of the desk, on his night stand. Sticky notes and papers were all over the floor, others are stuck on the cork board in front of the desk, others stuck on different parts of the wall. Buckets of Lego's were also untidily placed everywhere. Peter's clothes were also so messy--science pun shirts were here and there, his hoodie draped on the chair in front of his desk, other hoodies were discarded on the floor and well, his boxers were also everywhere.

Michelle almost snickered because the room just screams PETER PARKER.

"I'm sorry," Tony mumbles as he quickly grabbed a few of the boxers lying around in Peter's room, "Peter tends to get very--"

"Messy," Michelle continued for the man, a small smile hinting in her face, "He has always been very messy."

Tony nods, smiling, "Yeah, he certainly does." he agreed, "For the past five years that he was dusted, I never really got the heart to fix his things so I just left it as is." the man explained.

Michelle nods, taking in everything that was in Peter's room, "It's okay... uhm, I actually like things messy,"

Tony smiles, "I'll leave you here," the man muttered, "You find the thing that he left for you. It's a book titled Eleanor and Park,"

Michelle finally smiled genuinely when Tony mentioned what Peter left for her, "A book?" the girl asks and Tony nods.

"Yeah, and seeing that the kid has plenty of them, I guess you're in for an adventure tonight." Tony muttered, smiling.

And somehow, the conversation wasn't stuffy--it felt comforting at the most. And for the first time, Michelle didn't feel anger towards the man--just happiness and she couldn't even understand or even explain why she's feeling as such.

"T-thank you, Mr. Stark," Michelle finally mutters, "And uhm, I'm sorry... for uhm, calling you selfish."

Tony nods understandingly, "It's okay," he mumbled, "I'll take you home when you're ready. You can tell Friday here. Uhm, I'm pretty sure you know who she is. Peter probably told you,"

"I know who she is," Michelle muttered, "Hacked her once with Ned and Peter." a small smile crept on the girl's face, remembering that one time when the adrenaline was literally running through their veins. Peter was very much happy that time since they decided to hack Tony Stark's suit and change some of the protocol's names. Peter was getting a revenge for having the baby monitor protocol reactivated. And man, Michelle will never forget how Peter laughed when they re-watched Tony's recording.

_"FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there. Let's see how these aliens are doing," Tony mumbled in the video._

_"Old man bifocals protocol activated,"_

_"The fuck did you just call me?!"_

It was comedy gold--they didn't stop laughing and talking about it for the whole week. And Michelle would love to see that again, you know, Peter laughing.

Tony snorted, "I'll pretend you didn't say that,"

Michelle just chuckled back, "Thank you again Mr. Stark."

"No problem Michelle," Tony muttered.

"MJ," Michelle blurted out of the blue, "Call me MJ. It's what my friends call me."

Tony just smirked, nodding, "I'll take that in mind," the man finally went back to the door as he smiles at the girl, "I'll leave now. Just tell Friday when you're done."

The man started walking, on his way towards the tower's lift. "Mr. Stark?" Michelle called again.

"Yeah?" Tony asked, turning back.

"Can I..." Michelle mumbles, "Can I take one of Peter's hoodies?" the girl asks, earning a smile from the billionaire.

"Take one," the man answered back, nodding, "And uhm, please don't clean anything. Just leave it as it is, I like it that way."

Michelle smiles, nodding. The man finally leaves, leaving the girl alone in Peter's room. And Michelle couldn't help but to smile, a beautiful feeling blossoming in her chest like a new sprouted flower--pleasure. That was what she felt--the anger leaving her heart and a small amount of pleasure taking it's place. It wasn't happiness but she was just glad that she wasn't feeling angry anymore.

It was a step forward.

A step towards betterment.

It is still a long way to go but one step forward is better than any steps backward.

Michelle sat on top of Peter's bed, taking the gray hoodie and smelled it. It didn't actually smell like anything since it has probably been five years since Peter last wore it but there was still a little tiny bit tinge of Peter's scent--earthy and soft.

The girl smiles as she recognizes the hoodie--it was one of Peter's favorite. The boy always paired it with the green large jacket that he always wear at school. She also recognized this as the hoodie that Peter wore when MJ found out that the boy is Spider-man.

Michelle took it, smelled it again momentarily as she wore it, smiling a little as a familiar warmth enveloped her--it was as if Peter was hugging her.

And for the first time since she got back from dusting, she felt accompanied.

Not alone.

Not lost.

Not numb.

She can feel.

She was present.

She was grounded.

She was safe.

She can breathe.

She feels Peter with _her_\--the warmth, the feeling of safety, the boy that was the definition of being grounded, the smell--earthy and soft.

She remembers.

Peter's eyes--every wrinkle whenever he smiles, the squints, the brightness, the glimmer.

Peter's nose--the crinkling, the snort, the drawing of breath.

Peter's lips--the smiles, the smirks, the laughs, the lip bites and lip smacking.

She remembers Peter.

Just him.

Not the death of Peter.

Not the pain.

Not the anger.

Not the regret.

....  
  


_Just _Peter.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_She feels Peter._

And it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took too much to write because I was just so uninspired for the past few days but thank goodness that I was able to squeeze something out of my brain. And honestly, the way Michelle behaved here is probably how I do too. You know, how she shuts herself out and live in her own bubble just to deny things that are happening around her. It is one of my worst traits and I thought that MJ acting like this would probably be painful when that bubble pop or bursts. And another one is how she deals with Peter's death--trying to forget that it happened. And I do that too and that will hurt eventually. Because forgetting something as big as a death of your friend will only do you harm.
> 
> Anyway, I also want to apologize if it seems a bit confusing because of the back and forth of flashbacks and the real timeline. It's just my way to show how much Peter impacted in Michelle's life. The girl considered Peter as a constant in her life--someone who will not leave so when Peter disappeared in her life, she took it badly. Anyway, everything will make sense more in the upcoming chapters!
> 
> Please do leave me comments down below, I love reading them and studies show that more comments means early updates HAHAHAHHA. Love you guys! ♥


	2. Your name

Being in Peter's room was both very much nostalgic and painful. She vividly remembers the times she spent in Peter's room back in the apartment. She vividly remember the movies the three of them watched in Peter's bedroom using Ned's laptop. She vividly remembers the warmth the three of them shared when nothing was too complicated. But yes sure, Michelle might have never really spent anytime with Peter in his room here in the Avenger's tower but the fact that he owns this beautiful room and the fact that Michelle can see every trace of Peter was very much enough reason for the girl to feel the familiar sadness and pain in her heart.

Michelle sighs, trying hard not to slip into another crying session for the umpteenth time that day because well, she was already exhausted from all the ordeal that happened this afternoon. She wasn't ready for another body-wracking sobs and panic attacks.

The girl started roaming around, taking in all the things that Peter left behind. And even though Tony specifically told Michelle not to clean anything, the OCD in herself wasn't making it easy for her. She remembers that she's actually the one who made Peter clean his room whenever she was coming over with Ned in Peter's apartment. She scolded Peter for minutes on end and taught him how to properly clean his room--putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, hanging the discarded hoodies back into Peter's dresser, throwing the trashes that littered across Peter's room. And now, Michelle found herself doing the same--cleaning the room and tidying it.

Michelle started picking up Peter's hoodies and then hanging it up in Peter's dressers, she then moved on to Peter's shirts that was all over the room. She picked up the shirts on the floor, the shirts draped on the chair and then, while the girl was busy picking all the forgotten shirts, she saw a familiar black shirt, a familiar black shirt that she loved seeing Peter wear.

_If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand._

It was the shirt Peter wore the very first time they met--it was in their freshman year during the first decathlon meeting. And actually, the shirt was Michelle's favorite science pun shirts that Peter owned. The girl even asked Peter if she could have the shirt but if you know Peter, you know very much how the boy loves his science puns shirt that not even Michelle could get her hand on it.

"Ms. Jones, Mr. Stark specifically told me not to let anyone clean Peter's room." FRIDAY, the AI spoke making Michelle stop in her tracks, sighing as she eyed the mess before her.

"Fine," Michelle mumbled, surrendering almost immediately because the last thing she wants to do right now is piss off Mr. Stark, "I'll, I'll just pick up the last shirt on top of Peter's bed and then I will stop cleaning, would that be okay?" the girl bargained and when the AI didn't answer back anymore, Michelle continued on what she was doing and picked up the last shirt on top of Peter's bed.

Michelle grabbed it and to her surprise, under the shirt was a book and the girl couldn't help but to smile as she read the title--Eleanor and Park.

"You're not making it so hard for me, huh Peter?" Michelle mumbled as she took the book and sat on Peter's bed.

Michelle opened it and there was nothing suspicious in the book except from the paper that was tucked inside like some sort of a bookmark. MJ smirks, smiling a little when she read the folded paper because there was a huge--_"ONLY MICHELLE JONES CAN READ THIS, SO IF YOU'RE NOT HER, THEN DON'T!"_

MJ chuckled, laughing a little as she brushed the lone tear away from her face, "Oh, Peter," she whispered, breathing heavily as she tried to calm herself. "Get it together Jones, get it together till the very last words," Michelle told herself as she slowly opened the letter that was meant for her, leaving the book back on top of Peter's bed.

Michelle started reading, and the first few words were enough to make the girl blink out few droplets of tears.

_"Hi MJ!"_

As MJ read that line, she felt like she heard Peter said it--like the boy was just beside her, speaking with that lively voice of his--the kind of voice that swept her off her feet.

"Hey dork," MJ whispers, as if talking back to Peter.

_"Uhm, I'm not really good with words," _Peter wrote and MJ just nods, smiling a little because she agreed, _"Not even when I'm speaking or even when I'm writing. I would always be awkward as hell... anyway. You're probably freaked out why I decided to give you a book and a freaking letter. And I don't even know what my reaction would be if ever I would give this to you--should I sing and be like those Glee members while confessing something? Should I go to the cafeteria and shout the words I have been wanting to say just like those athletes at school? I don't even know because I'm just awkward, nerdy Peter Parker from Robotics and Band club--making weird robots and blowing a freaking saxophone."_

MJ's brows suddenly clashed because for once, she begged to disagree, because Peter wasn't just an awkward, nerdy Peter Parker from Robotics club--he's one of the best robotics member that club could ever have, one of the key people why Midtown High won in the National Robotics competition five years ago during summer. Peter wasn't just an awkward and nerdy Peter Parker who blew a freaking saxophone because MJ saw how handsome Peter looked whenever the boy played the instrument, Peter sustained the melody of the band and it was pleasing in Michelle's ears.

_"I don't know how to do this, you know... but well, I'm taking my own my flavor on it and decided to go with plain, old letters."_

"I like letters, Peter," MJ whispered, "I love getting letters," the girl added, a small tear falling down her face as it stained the paper on her hands.

_"So I saw this book the other day titled, 'Eleanor and Park' and many people told me it's a good story, you know, like Ned and Betty. They told me that this book is really good so I decided to get it and uhm, to give it to you since you love reading."_

Michelle chuckles, nodding, "You've got the perfect gift, Peter. You... you just know me so well." the girl answers back, as if someone could hear her... as if Peter was still listening.

_"I'm not sure if you'll like this book since your genre is more on the non-fiction ones and novels, you know, like the _Of human bondage _or the book you read about the Black Dahlia or something. I don't really know since I'm a pop-fiction kind of guy. I love the super-heroes, the comics, all those stuff. Anyway, this is actually not the real reason why I'm even writing to you. I'm getting carried away again."_

Michelle hums, acknowledging everything that Peter just said especially the part where he said that he was being carried away again because in true Peter Parker fashion, the boy always misses the point and makes so many circles and bumps before getting to the real point.

_"So uhm, I decided to give you this book because of only one purpose. I gave you this book because it's the most casual way that I could give you this letter. Lame, I know. But hear me out, hahahha. You know that I'm not really the best guy to confess anything to anyone. I know that you remember how I asked Liz to a dance--it was a very much embarrassing moment for me and uhm, I'm not taking that road again. I planned everything right now and the book is just part of the plan. It's not really meant for anything but a decoy."_

Michelle's brows suddenly clashed, not understanding whatever Peter wrote on the paper. _Decoy? What does that even mean? _Michelle was lost, not knowing where the letter was going or why Peter even wrote to her in the first place because this was clearly before everything happened--this was written way before the snap, way before all these fucked up events. And Michelle couldn't think of any events where Peter might have thought to write something for her. She was confused, so the girl continued... and soon finding answers to the questions in her mind.

_"So yeah, the real reason why I wrote this letter and gave you the book is because... I wanted to tell you something. So uhm, I'm not really good at this but... I think I like you. Uhm no, that was wrong. I don't think I like you because uh, I DO LIKE YOU. I like you more than just a friend, more than a teammate, more than a classmate. I like you, MJ. Does that makes sense? Argh, seriously, the way I'm confessing right now is very much a mess and uhm, I'm sorry."_

_"Uhm, but I really do like you MJ. I love everything about you--those brown, little curls, that cute, little nose, your beautiful brown eyes, the snarks that you spew out, the sarcastic remarks that I always get, the jokes you tell--everything. But I guess what I loved about you is how you think--I adore how great you are at everything! In Science, Math, English, History, you name it and I'm sure you'll nail it. Wait did that just rhymed? Okay, anyway, I'm getting sidetracked again. So uhm, yeah, I.... I also love your personality. I love how you step up for the little guys in your own way--the kids you saved from their bullies, the girls you saved from the vain group of girls that once targeted you and well, me, Peter Parker whose always bullied by Flash. I love that you are always there for people when they need you. I love your resilience, I love your strength, I love your passion... and uhh, I guess you get what I mean now--I love everything about you, MJ. __You see, the point is, I like you because you're just _you_. You don't please other people, you don't care about what they think, you just do what you want, you are utterly not sorry and I admire that about you."_

_"I like you MJ, I really do and I have liked you for a long time now. And it's just burning me from inside out to suppress the feeling that I have for you. And right now, what I just want to do is to confess--to tell you my feelings, to tell you that I like you. I also apologize if my way of telling you is not, in any way, romantic but instead, it's some old, cringey move that I managed to put up. But I hope that you like it because this is all I can do. This is the most sincere move I could ever think of to let you see that I am very much serious about liking you."_

_"I don't know if you feel the same but... I'm taking my chances. And I hope you like me back too--not because I liked you first but because you _really_ do. And if you don't like me, I hope... I hope that this won't taint our friendship in anyway. I hope that even though you already know that I like you, I hope that you would just act like I didn't say anything and let's just continue being friends. Just act normal, act like you always do--it will hurt less."_

_"But if, by any chance, you like me too. Send me a message on my phone, send a sign, anything, maybe just text me _ **your name** _ and... and that... that would be the sign, that would be the confirmation. And after I receive your message, I will wait for you at Kissena Park. And I will tell you everything in person. I will confess to you grandiosely, because you deserve it. I will tell you how much I like you, MJ. I like you, Michelle Jones."_

_"I'm not pressuring you or anything but I hope to hear from you the soonest because I am certain that I wouldn't be able to sleep once I give this to you. So uhm I guess, if you reject me, just tell me. Maybe text me _ **my name** _ and I will know. Tell me immediately if you don't feel the way I do so I can condition myself before I go back to school and meet you. And ugh, that's, that's all, I guess? Argh, I don't even know how to end this anymore. But I guess the best way to do that is to remind you that no matter what happens, I will always be here. I will always be your friend, MJ. I always got your back--whether you like me too or not. I will always be here."_

_"MJ, thank you, for everything! - Peter ♥"_  
  
  


_I like you, Michelle Jones_. Michelle stared at the paper as soon as she was finished and the words that hit her heart the most started playing at the back of her head like some sick tape. The girl was utterly shocked, stoned on top of Peter's bed as she read the letter again, and again, and again, and again. She read it for so many times until the words made sense in her head. She read it repeatedly until the reality struck her and the thought dawning on her.  
  
  
  
  


_I like you, Michelle Jones._  
  
  
  
  


Peter liked her.

Peter liked MJ.

Peter liked Michelle.

Peter liked Michelle Jones.  
  
  


Peter liked her.  
  
  


The girl didn't know how to feel, didn't know how to react--should she be happy? Celebrating? Should she be grossed out? Should she laugh? She doesn't know, but what she does know was one fact.   
  
  
  
  


She knows for a fact the she _likes _Peter too.  
  
  


"I... I... I like you too, Peter," Michelle managed to say, tears started falling down her cheeks like raindrops, "I liked you too, dork." her eyes glassy, staring at the paper in front of her while tears continued running down her cheeks. "I liked you Peter... even before we became friends. I liked you even though you liked Liz more than me. I liked you even before... I liked you too, Peter," the girl repeated the words, repeated the words just to make sure that Peter hears her, repeated her words just so she could get rid of the regret that was clawing on her heart and it hurts--damn, it hurts. The girls cried, full on sobbing while the paper was carefully tucked in her chest as she hugged it as if it was Peter whom she was holding.

It was painful, very painful. Michelle doesn't know how to relieve the pain that was eating her from inside out so the girl started pounding on her chest, tried clawing out her heart but nothing gave her a relief, instead the pain inside her intensified.

The pain, the regret, the loss, the mourning, everything inside her was swirling into some scary monster that was pestering her mind. Because how can she get away from these unscathed? How can she move on from such massive loss? How can she forget a regret so big?

She can't.

She won't.

Because Michelle was mourning. Mourning for the best friend that managed to help her in everything--the friend who pulled her out of the darkest abyss in her head, the friend who hugged her tight when the world was closing in, the friend who showed her love even when they were still just mere classmated. A friend who became a constant in her life. A friend who stayed no matter how much she pushed him away because she didn't want Peter to see the monsters inside her head. She was mourning for the boy who lit up her world in more ways than one.

Because Michelle was in terrible loss. She lost Peter and along the way, she lost herself too. She lost the snark that Peter loved about her, the sarcasm that Peter adored about her, the jokes that she can't seem to blurt out no matter the situation. Because when she lost Peter, Michelle lost a part of her too.

Because Michelle was in deep regret. Regretting the time lost just because she was too damn stubborn. Time lost that she could have used to tell Peter herself that she likes him too. Time lost that she could have used to show Peter that she liked the boy way before Peter even liked her. Time lost that she could have used to make more memories with him. Time lost that she could have used to make the first move and confess first to Peter. Time lost just because she was scared that she might get hurt.

Because Michelle was in pain. She was in pain, realizing that nothing will ever be done to have Peter back in her arms. She was in pain, realizing that she will not see Peter anymore in Kissena Park even after she texts the sign to Peter. She was in pain, realizing that Peter will not be here anymore to make the grandiose confessing that he was planning to do. She was in pain, realizing that she couldn't let Peter know that she likes him too.  


Michelle was in pain, realizing that she couldn't love Peter back and Peter couldn't love her back anymore.  
  
  


Michelle was in pain because she realized that the very first person she ever loved, the very first person she ever cared for other than her family was gone.  


Gone, not coming back.

Gone, void.

Gone, gone.  
  
  


It hurts because she could've confessed and Peter would've known how she felt. And now, she was just left with insufferable amount of regret, of pain, of loss.

And she wishes, she wishes she could go back in time.  


Go back five years ago and tell Peter.  


Go back and tell the boy how much she loves him.  


Go back in time to see the smile Peter will wear the minute she tells him that she liked him too.  


Go back in time just to see _her _Peter.  


But that was impossible now.

There was nothing the girl could do.

Nothing the girl could go back to.  
  
  


"I like you too, Peter," she whispered as she grabbed her phone, typing mindlessly and sent the message towards Peter.  


She sent the message even though she knew she will never, ever get a reply.  


She sent the message even though she knew that when she goes to the park, Peter Parker will not be there.  


She sent the message just to make her heavy heart feel less heavy even though she knows that it will do completely nothing.  


She sent the message because Michelle Jones liked Peter Parker too.  
  
  


_MESSAGE SENT!_  
  
  
  
  


**To: Peter Dorker**  
**Michelle Jones.  
****Sent. 4:57 PM 12/07/23**  


\--   


_ **From: Dad  
** _ **Have a great day on your first day, honey! I love you!  
** **Received. 7:44 AM 10/29/16**

_Attending Midtown High School was one of the most nerve-wracking moment Michelle had experienced. She had just transferred from Ohio to New York when her father got a new job in the Big Apple. The transition was very much difficult for the teen since she already had an established teenage life back in her previous home--friends, classmates, school performances and all. And now, Michelle was back to making new friends, meeting new classmates and proving herself that she deserved the spot in a science school like Midtown._

_Michelle was the captain in her school's decathlon team when she was in junior high school that's why she decided to join Midtown's own team even though the spot for captain was already taken. Well, she doesn't really care about positions, what she wanted was the experience and the fun in doing the things she liked best._

_It was in their freshman year and it was during the first decathlon meeting when she first met Peter Parker. Peter entered the room together with Ned, he was wearing a cute science pun shirt that Michelle couldn't seem to forget because well, the _"If you believe telekinesis, please raise my hand."_ shirt made the girl smile for the whole period._

_After that brief first meeting, Michelle never really developed any curiousness towards the boy but coincidentally, the girl seems to always bump into Peter everywhere--meeting in the hallway, getting same classes and schedules, seeing each other on their way home and the list goes on. And during those times, Michelle unintentionally became aware of Peter's presence and well, she also became aware that the boy always wear science puns shirt that differs everyday. And somehow, Michelle had found herself waiting for Peter every morning just to see what kind of shirt he's going to wear next._

Gravity gets me down.

I lost an electron. Are you positive?

The Physics is theoretical but the fun is real.

Think like a proton. Stay Positive.

_The times spent waiting for Peter every morning, the anticipation Michelle felt every time she waits for Peter's new shirts, the coincidences where she always bump into Peter managed the girl to get attached to Peter unknowingly. She doesn't know why--was it the shirts? Was it because she always sees him? Michelle doesn't know but what she does know was the feeling she felt when Peter didn't show up in their class once._

_It was already past the bell and the only person she had been waiting for didn't come. She waited throughout the day but Peter never came to school and somehow, _somehow_, Michelle felt worried. And when she realized what she was inkling--the foreign feeling of being worried about people other than her family was so beyond scary. She was scared of the emotion that she felt and she was determined enough not to feel it again._

_Because of that, the girl decided to distance herself. Trying hard not to wait for Peter anymore everyday, trying hard not to steal glances whenever Peter was watching Liz from afar, trying hard not to bump into the boy in the hallway or even on their way home._

_But Michelle proved that it was impossible in the long run because the more the girl distanced herself, the more she felt the pull towards Peter. The more she looked away, the more she got curious. The more she avoided him, the more the boy kept on meeting her on random times. The more she hated him, the more the boy grew in her heart. And when everything was just too difficult for Michelle, she finally gave up and just, _well_, accepted the fear and the emotions that Peter was giving her._

_"_The pull_" as Michelle decided to call it, made the girl overly drawn towards Peter. She would find herself staring unknowingly at Peter during lunch. She would find herself unconsciously sitting closer to the two boys during PE, lab times and sometimes even in decathlon meetings. She would find herself zoning out during lectures as she stares at Peter who's obviously lost in his thoughts as much as she is. She would find herself taking note about everything that Peter does and what he doesn't do, he noted that the boy quit the marching band and robotics club and noticed the way Peter would always bolt out the door before the bell even rings._

_During those times of being unintentionally drawn towards her classmate, Michelle saw much more than the science pun shirts, the weird behaviors or even the brilliance that the boy possesses, instead, she saw Peter as a _cute _boy. Yeah, in the whole year that she practically watched Peter, she realized how cute Peter was. She wouldn't say handsome but well, she's sure that Peter was indeed, cute._

_She noticed the little wrinkles that Peter has whenever the boy smiles and laughs, she noticed the cute nose or even the thin lips that always curl into a smile because Peter was just a positive kid in all aspects and the boy was just the epitome of happiness._

_And when the feeling in her chest started digging deeper and deeper into her heart and when everything was clicking into place, Michelle _hypothesized_ that she, Michelle Jones has a crush on Peter Parker. Yeah, she used the word hypothesized because she literally approached her fondness towards Peter like a science experiment._

_She took note about all the things that she felt. She took note about all the things that she noticed in her heart and in her mind. She wrote the possible reasons why she would have that certain fondness towards Peter. She wrote several hypotheses, several guesses as to why she was feeling such strong emotions towards the boy and when everything was just coming into place, ruling out all the things that wasn't working with her other theories and evidences--she came up with the result that she, indeed, has a crush on Peter._  


_She likes Peter._  


_She does. _  
  
  


_She liked Peter before even the boy became his friend. _  
  
  


_She liked Peter long before Liz left Midtown and well, left Peter alone and his heart._  
  
  


_Michelle liked Peter before she even knew about Spider-man._  
  
  


_Michelle liked Peter even before Peter liked her back._  


\--  


Michelle liked Peter Parker first.  


And now to know that the boy liked her back, she couldn't seem to find the happiness that she was expecting.

The happiness that she had been imagining for the past few years that she liked Peter. The happiness that she thought she would feel once Peter likes her back.  


Because now all she feels is the massive and scary regret that was clawing in her heart.

All she feels is the white-splitting pain that was pounding on her chest.

All she feels is regret and pain and regret and pain and regret...  


There's no happiness in her heart.

No glee.

No joy.

Nothing.  


Because right now, all the girl could do was love a dead person back.  
  
  


Because now, _Michelle loves Peter even when the boy couldn't love her back anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY FIRST OF ALL, I HATE SONY AND MARVEL STUDIOS AND WELL, DISNEY. SECOND, I HATE SONY AND MARVEL AND DISNEY. AND LASTLY, MY BABY TOM DOESN'T DESERVE ALL OF THIIIIIIIIIIIS!
> 
> I'M FREAKING PISSED AT THESE PEOPLE WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT MONEY! ARGHHHHHHH!
> 
> I'M IN A FREAKING BAD MOOD RIGHT NOW.  
But you guys, I still love you!  
And I will still continue whumping Peter! I will still continue supporting Peter and Tony's father-son relationship.  
I'm not going to give them up.  
As long as someone is still supporting me and my works, I will continue.  
As long as I still love Tom and Robert and Peter and Tony, I will continue writing. ♥
> 
> If Marvel, Disney and Sony can't give us the content that we want, then I will give them to you guys and fill you up!  
Because I also need a daily dose of MCU Peter Parker.
> 
> OKAY?  
OKAY.
> 
> Anyway, please do tell me what you all think in the comments section below because your comments always brighten my days up. So please, do your girl a favor and drop a comment ahahahah. I BADLY NEED IT.
> 
> Anyway, ciao!
> 
> P.S. Let's not only save Spidey but let's also save the AMAZON RAINFOREST! It is burning right now for weeks and we need to protect mother Earth's lungs! Let's spread awareness and love ♥
> 
> LOVE YOU GUYS 3,247!


	3. M&M

Losing someone was painful, yes, and Michelle knew that. The girl wasn't a stranger to the pain of losing someone. She wasn't a stranger to that kind of feeling because the girl had many experiences in her life that made her _somehow _immune with people leaving her life.

She was six years old when her pet dog died.

She was seven years old when she lost her younger sister, Margaret.

She was ten years old when her best friend Hazel left their neighborhood in Ohio to move in Arizona.

She was fourteen when she left her friends in Ohio to move to New York.

And all those times, it hurt. The time when she lost her dog hurt. The time when her sister died definitely hurt. All the times when she lost her best friends also hurt. And somehow, the girl thought that having to lose someone again wouldn't hurt anymore. The girl thought that she was already immune to the pain that comes along with losing someone. She thought that when someone leaves her life, she could just get over it and move on just like how she did for the past times that it happened.

But of course, she was _wrong_.

Because even with years of losing her sister, Michelle still couldn't move on from her. Even with years of losing her dog, her friends and losing connections, she still feels alone.

And now, _now_, she needed to go through it _again_.

Because now, she lost the man that_ could've been_ hers. She lost the love that didn't even have the chance to blossom into something bigger. And somehow, losing that felt a whole lot different.

It hurts--not only emotionally but also physically. Michelle could feel the twinge of pain whenever she breathes. The girl could feel the heaviness that was sitting on her chest. She could feel the regret that was clawing in her heart. Michelle could feel all the 'what if's' pounding against her head. And it hurt, definitely hurt.

And all the pain sent the girl into an exhausted fit and she couldn't help but to cry herself to sleep on the bed of the person she loved--love_s_\--because she still does. Michelle spent all her time crying on top of Peter's bed, her hand clutching the book and the letter close to her chest. She cried, wailed, wept. And it was when she woke up that she realized that she fell asleep.

"Daddy, look, she looks so sad," a small voice whispered but loud enough for Michelle to be disturbed in her sleep. Michelle slowly came around, blinking tiredly as a little girl came into her view, "Oh, you're awake!" the kid exclaimed happily as she smiles towards Michelle.

The girl quickly got up, looking around her surroundings and realizing that her nightmares, was indeed her _reality_. She was in Peter's room, on top of his bed, but there was no sign of the owner of the bedroom because well, her reality now is where Peter Parker is gone.

"Hi, I'm sorry for waking you up but I'm Morgan," a cute, little voice snapped Michelle out of her trance as she looked towards the girl in front of her. "Daddy said that this is Petey's room but you're the one sleeping here. Did I go to the wrong room then?" the girl asked, her sentences well constructed for someone her age.

"I... uh, you got the right room." Michelle managed to say, trying so hard to get rid of the sleep from her eyes, "I was the one who slept in the wrong room..."

"Morguna, where are you?" someone asked and Michelle was pretty much sure that Tony Stark owned that voice.

"Daddy, I'm here!" the girl shouted as she exited the room to find her father.

And right there and then Michelle remembered. That girl was the same girl at the lake house--the girl that Tony Stark carried when they said their last goodbye to Peter. Michelle never really got the chance to pry who the girl was because she was pretty much lost in her own grief that nothing else really mattered. The only thing in her mind that time was the desire to see Peter one last time.

"I told you to wait for me, little miss." Tony muttered, speaking loud enough for Michelle to hear.

The girl quickly stood up, gathering the things that Peter left for her and as well as the shirt that she had been hugging for the past few hours. Michelle didn't want to leave Peter's room but she knew she needed to. So she left the bedroom and was greeted by Tony who was now carrying Morgan in his arms.

"Friday told me that you fell asleep so I let you be but it's getting late so I decided to pick you up." Tony muttered.

"Daddy, who is she?" Morgan asked and somehow, Michelle was taken aback.

Because, yeah, who even is she? _Who is Michelle Jones in Peter Parker's life?_ It was a question that Michelle will never know the answer to. It was a question left unanswered.

"That's Michelle, Peter loved her, Morguna." Tony answered for Michelle, without even batting an eyelash and it was as if Tony was very sure of what he just said.

Michelle was shocked to say the least, her eyes wide as she eyed the man in front of her. 

"Really?" Morgan asked, whispering as she struggled to be put down by her dad. And as soon as her feet landed on the floor, the girl ran towards Michelle and craned her neck in order to see the girl up close.

Morgan tugged on Michelle's hands, wanting the older girl to get down on her level just so the kid could see the girl's face clearly.

Michelle just looked at Tony for approval and the man just nods at her, a small smile in his face. And with the assurance from Morgan's father, Michelle sat down so she could be face to face with the little kid in front of her.

And as soon as Morgan got a clearer view of Michelle, she smiles, "You're pretty," Morgan whispered making Michelle blush in return.

"I... uhh, thanks," Michelle muttered as she looked down, trying hard to hide her red cheeks.

"I'm Morgan and I'm Peter's sister." Morgan introduced, a genuine smile on the kid's face.

Michelle was shocked as she look back towards the little girl in front of her and she couldn't help or even understand the fondness that she feels for her. 

She knew how close Peter and Tony Stark was. Michelle was on the first seat when she watched the relationship between the two blossom into something bigger other than a mentor and a protege. But she never took Tony Stark as someone who will treat Peter as a kid--like his own child to the point of telling his blood-children that Peter is their big brother. And now, Michelle can feel her respect for the older man grow bigger, wider.

"Hi," Michelle mumbled as she looked at the little girl's pretty face.

And while looking at Morgan's face, Michelle realized how Peter and Morgan resembles each other even if they don't share a single drop of blood. And as she stares at the kid's eyes, she found the chocolate brown eyes that mirrored Peter's eyes so much. It was that beautiful chocolate brown eyes that held so much purity and innocence--it was _Peter's_.

"What's your name?" Morgan asked, her hands fumbling on her shirt.

"I'm... uhh, Michelle," the teenager answered back as she finally flashed a genuine smile towards the kid.

"Daddy said Peter loved you," Morgan stated as she crooked her head sideways like she always did whenever she was curious about something, "Peter loves me too. Daddy told me."

Michelle smiles yet again as she nods, "I'm sure he does," the girl whispered, making Morgan smile in return--her teeth beaming, her gums showing.

"I love him too 3,247." Morgan muttered as she fidgeted with her tiny hands. "But I... I also miss Petey so much," the kid mumbles to herself, looking down with the familiar face that Michelle certainly knew. 

It was the look of sadness and longing. It was the same face she have seen couple of times before--in Ned, in Tony, in May and well, in a mirror. Michelle knew that kind of face so much because she also looks like that--a face ridden with sadness, gloominess, longing. And she felt sorry towards the kid who never met Peter but still held so much love for the boy. Michelle couldn't even imagine how a little kid might be dealing with something as bad as death.

"I miss him too, so much," Michelle whispered, her voice quivering as she took Morgan's chin so that the kid could look into her eyes, "And I'm sure Peter misses us too."

Morgan just sighs as the kid turned back towards her father who was watching fondly towards the two girls, "Daddy, I'm having a slumber party tonight." Morgan stated out of the blue, not even asking an approval from her father.

"What?" Tony asked, taken aback, "Aunt Nebula's not here with us so you can't have a slumber party with her." Morgan's father muttered. "She's back in space, remember?"

"No, I'm having a slumber party with Michelle," Morgan answered back as she stared back towards Michelle, "You'll sleep with me tonight, right?" the kid asked, her eyes begging, "While we're having a slumber party, you can tell me stories about Petey." the girl muttered, her eyes sad but with a little glimmer of hope.

It was _that _puppy eyes. Peter used to do it too and the boy always got his ways whenever he executes that look. Michelle almost smiled, still in awe by the uncanny resemblance between the two.

"Morgan, you can't just have a slumber party whenever you want." Tony muttered, trying to ease Michelle off the responsibility that his daughter just imposed.

"No, I... I could go with her tonight if... if it's okay with you, Mr. Stark," Michelle muttered, smiling as she looked towards the man.

She didn't really mind going with Morgan right now--she needed distraction and well, telling stories about Peter to his little sister is the best thing she could ever wish for right now. Michelle didn't want to go home yet--not when the demons inside her head are raging a war against her sanity. And she's pretty sure she won't be able to survive the night if she go back home and wallow in grief in her bedroom. No, she would just die in sadness and longing and Michelle knew that Peter wouldn't want that--neither does she.

So she took the opportunity, just to take her mind of things. Just to take her mind off pain.

Tony sighs as he smiles, "If you want to, sure, yeah, why not." the man mutters as he then turned his attention towards Morgan, "But no campfire. Just a little sleeping party, okay?" the man asks and Morgan just nods excitedly, the once sad eyes now filled with happiness and excitement.

"Yes, yes!" Morgan exclaimed happily as she jumped in glee, "I'm pretty sure you have plenty of stories about Peter and well, Spidey too." the kid exclaimed, turning towards Michelle.

The older girl just smiles, knowing very well that she has plenty of stories to tell, plenty of memories to share, plenty of emotions to feel again as she goes walking on memory lane.

Michelle nods, taking Morgan's tiny hand onto her, "I have a billion of stories to share with you."

The ride from New York to Georgia was fairly short--well Michelle has to thank the convenient air ride in the Stark Industries helicopter for that. And after two hours of flying from the Avengers tower to the new Stark cabin, Michelle realized where they were. After almost two months, Michelle was back in that same cabin where they said their last goodbye to Peter and somehow, she could hear her heart plummeting on the ground.

"You're okay," Michelle was shocked when she felt a small hand encasing hers and when she looked down, Morgan's smiling face greeted her, "Your hand's trembling like dad's and I always held it so that it will stop. I'll hold unto yours too so that your hands won't tremble."

Michelle just smiled, but it never reached her eyes because being back here was sending her into an overdrive. It was painful, it was excruciating.

"Are you okay?" Mr. Stark asked when she noticed Michelle's pale face.

"I'm... I... ugh, yeah," Michelle managed to say, "I... I wasn't fan of the ride." it was a lie but it was better than admitting what she was feeling as of the moment.

Tony just smiles at her, nodding.

"Mommy!" Morgan shouted, waving as soon as she saw the familiar blonde woman standing by their porch.

The kid quickly let go of Michelle's hand as she ran towards her mother. Pepper quickly greeted the kid with a hug as she took Morgan into her arms.

"Hey darling!" Pepper exclaimed happily, "Did you have fun in Aunt May's house?"

"Yeah!" Morgan beamed, "Aunt May, Uncle Happy and I went to the park and then we went back to the apartment and I got to play with Petey's legos! It was so fun!"

"Wow, that's great." Pepper muttered, smiling softly towards her daughter.

"I also met Michelle. Daddy said Peter loved her."

Pepper frowns, not quite understanding what her daughter just said, "Wha--"

"Honey," Tony called, wanting his wife to see that they have a guest.

"Michelle," Pepper whispered as her eyes landed on the teenage girl beside her husband.

"Uhm, uhh, good evening Ms. Potts," Michelle greeted but then quickly took it back as she realized her mistake, "I mean, Mrs. Stark. I'm sorry," Michelle mumbles as she reaches out her hand, offering it to the beautiful woman in front of her.

Pepper just smiles as she took Michelle's hand and shook it, "Nice to meet you Michelle," the woman exclaimed, smiling, "I'm happy that you're able to visit us."

"Well, thank madame secretary for inviting Michelle over." Tony muttered, chuckling a little, "Morgan wanted to have a slumber party with MJ,"

Pepper chuckles as she turned towards the kid on her arms, "Is that right darling?"

Morgan just nods as she snuggles closer to her mom, "Michelle's going to tell me stories about Petey," the kid whispers, her voice sad.

Pepper just sighs as she gives a small smile towards Michelle, "I'm sure Michelle has tons of story to tell you." Pepper cooed, trying hard to make her daughter feel better.

Pepper knew that everyone in their house misses Peter so much even though they have already spent five years without him. But she also knows that during those five years, they held onto hope. They hold on to the hope of knowing that he will come back. But now that it was finalized, with nothing but acceptance left--they finally felt the pain intensify, the loss, the grief and Pepper was trying hard to be the anchor of her family--not only for Tony and Morgan but also for May and Happy.

"Well, I sure have," Michelle mumbles, smiling back softly at Pepper.

"Come on then, we'll have dinner and then Michelle could tell you stories about Petey, is that good hun?" Pepper asks and Morgan just nods, "Come on, let's have some dinner. Michelle, I hope you're up for some lasagna." 

Michelle just smiles as she nods.

"Come on MJ," Tony muttered, leading Michelle into their home.

It was already pretty late at night, around 11PM and the two girls were all still wide awake in Morgan's room. And Michelle was pretty much sure that Ms. Potts--or is it Mrs. Stark now, whatever--will surely have her head in the morning for ruining Morgan's body clock but Michelle wasn't much disturbed. She's too whipped in the chocolate brown eyes of Morgan that reminded her so much of Peter's.

"Peter saved you too even though he wasn't wearing his spidey suit?!" Morgan asked, surprised when Michelle got to the story when Peter came barging in the girl's lavatory just to save her from her thoughts.

"Uh huh," Michelle muttered, smiling as she stares at Morgan's brown eyes, "Peter has always been a hero. It didn't matter if he's wearing the suit or not."

"Wow, Petey's so awesome," Morgan mumbles, the happiness in her eyes slowly disappearing as she said those words.

Michelle frowned as she eyed the little girl in front of her, "Why do you look so sad?" she asked.

"I... I just want to be with Peter. I... I want to have a memory of him too," the kid whispered as she looked back towards Michelle's eyes, boring her little eyes towards the older girl, "I wish Peter's here."

Michelle was taken aback and for the first time, she didn't have any comforting words to say to the kid. Because how could she help the girl feel better when she too was feeling the same thing? How can she comfort Morgan when she thinks the same thing?

"How about this?" Michelle asked as she tucked both her hands under her cheeks as she moves to a more comfortable position in Morgan's little bed, "I'll always come here on Fridays so I could tell you all the stories I had with Peter and then, you will have the same memories that I have with him. In that way, you will also have your own memories with him--one that you share with me." Michelle proposed, hoping that it could somehow lessen the sadness that the little girl was feeling.

"Really? You will come here every Friday just to tell me stories?" Morgan asked, beaming, and all Michelle could do was nod, smiling back towards the little girl.

"Really," Michelle answered back, "I can also be your playmate. I know you'll love that."

"Thank you Michelle," Morgan whispered as the kid moved closer towards Michelle and hugged her tight.

"No problem Mo," Michelle mumbled, calling Morgan by the nickname that she had in her head, "Now, why don't you sleep. I'm pretty sure your mom would scold me for letting you stay up this late."

"Okay," Morgan muttered, chuckling as she moved away from hugging the older girl, "Uhm, Michelle?" Morgan asked.

"Hmm?"

"Can you be my big sister?" Morgan asked and without hesitation, Michelle answered back.

"Sure, why not?" Michelle asked back, "I'm pretty sure I have a big space in my life to fit you in." the girl chuckled, making Morgan laugh too. "Actually, I'd love it if you become my sister. Being alone's getting pretty boring,"

Morgan furrowed her brows and it was a sign that the girl was curious, "Don't you have any siblings too?" the kid asked.

Michelle smiles genuinely as she brushes the hair out of Morgan's face. "I had--her name's Margaret." 

"Where is she now? Can we be friends too?" Morgan asked.

Michelle just sighs as she looked down, remembering the little sister that made her happy even in just a small amount of time, "She's with Peter now." the girl answered back, feeling a little gloomy.

"That's okay, I can be your little sister in her stead." Morgan mutters, her eyes blinking in tiredness.

Michelle just chuckles as she nods, "That'd be lovely," the girl whispers, "Now, why don't you head to la la land and have some sleep? Your eyes are dropping on me now."

Morgan just chuckles as she nods, "I'll see you in my dreamland, M," the little girl whispers, calling Michelle in her new nickname as she snuggles closer to Michelle.

"I'll see you in my dreamland too, M," Michelle answered back, rubbing her thumb on the kid's soft cheeks, "I hope we could see Peter and Margaret there too."

Morgan didn't respond anymore, completely out cold and snoring a little. Michelle just chuckles as she continues brushing her thumb across Morgan's cheeks, "Did you left her for me too, Peter?" Michelle asked, whispering, staring at the beautiful angel in front of her. "Did you send Stark's daughter to watch over me? Because if you did, it's little bit surprising but at the same time, endearing." the girl mumbles, "Thanks, Pete," she breathes, "I appreciate it."

Today has been a roller coaster for Michelle--it was hard, painful, exhausting, tiring. But after all those things, as Michelle stares at the little ball of sunshine in front of her, she felt recharged and somehow, she feels like she could do this. She feels like she could get through everyday, one day at a time, looking forward on the next Friday that she could see Morgan again. Fridays with the child that Peter left for her. Fridays with the child, remembering, reminiscing her moments with Peter. Fridays with a sliver of sunshine, a sliver of happiness and Michelle was very much happy with her little things--she can make little things work.

She can make this work.

"See you in my dreamland dork," Michelle whispers, her eyes finally giving up after this very long day, "_Sweet dreams_,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I hope you liked my update and I'm sorry that I am taking too long to update since I have two on-going stories right now. But I hope you guys are still waiting for my updates hehe.
> 
> I love you guys so much and please yell at me at the comment's section, I love it when you guys tell me what you think!
> 
> 1 Peter 5:10 - And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 


End file.
